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Elena [userpic]

LEECH

September 21st, 2011 (12:17 pm)

Today is my communitySeasonal Spuffy day! My little contribution to Spuffyland is a fic "Leech".

LEECH
Genre: comedy
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Joss is the boss.
Timeline: Alternate season 6, the story takes place in Cordelia's Birthday-verse.
Summary: Success is the best revenge - isn't it? Anya gets a brilliant idea, Spike becomes a beauty expert, Buffy is livid with jealosy, Lydia Chalmers updates her thesis, Giles gets useful tips from Ethan Rayne, general Voll stirs up trouble, while Angel, Cordelia and Wesley investigate a couple of cases in Sunnydale.
Written for communitySeasonal Spuffy.
A/N: Many thanks to deird1, my wonderful beta who helped me with grammar, style and characters voices. All mistakes are mine. And many thanks to abelina, angearia, gillo, ladyofthelog, rebcake and snickfic for organizing this round and running seasonal_spuffy.

Come to think of it, this is so typically SpikeCollapse )

Comments

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Posted by: annapurna_2 (annapurna_2)
Posted at: September 22nd, 2011 05:30 am (UTC)

Hee! This has GOT to be the most original idea I've seen yet. LOL!

I don't blame Lydia a bit. I would pay out of my own pocket, too. Strictly in the interests of invaluable...um...research, of course.

And I LOVE the idea of Spike and Buffy traveling the world together as rogue demon hunters. It's soooo them!

Thank you for such a fun read! :-)

Posted by: Elena (moscow_watcher)
Posted at: September 22nd, 2011 06:45 pm (UTC)

Thank you!

I don't blame Lydia a bit. I would pay out of my own pocket, too. Strictly in the interests of invaluable...um...research, of course.

But of course! We all do! We all are very devoted researchers :))))))

And I LOVE the idea of Spike and Buffy traveling the world together as rogue demon hunters. It's soooo them!

You know, for some reason I can't imagine they living a normal regular life. But I can easily see them travelling, fighting demons and sometimes - each other, having double dates with Angel and Cordy and then hitting the road again... :)

Posted by: annapurna_2 (annapurna_2)
Posted at: September 24th, 2011 03:11 am (UTC)

Posted by: Elena (moscow_watcher)
Posted at: September 24th, 2011 08:26 am (UTC)

Posted by: ever_neutral (ever_neutral)
Posted at: September 22nd, 2011 05:46 am (UTC)
btvs ~ technicolour gray

Haha, this was so fun!

"Shit!" Angel murmured. "I told you - that idiot always gets into trouble. We must find and rescue him before it's too late!"

Your Angel is absolutely delightful.

"What?" Buffy exclaimed. "He is your personal enemy!"
He gave her a pointed look. "Sometimes personal enemies become too personal."


I see your Ethan/Giles subtext there, and I like it.

p.s. I would pay to see those sex tapes. Just sayin'.

Posted by: Elena (moscow_watcher)
Posted at: September 22nd, 2011 06:53 pm (UTC)

Thank you!

Your Angel is absolutely delightful.

Hopefully I didn't turn him into a caricature. I wanted him to be snarky, especially towards Spike, but, at the same time, less dark than he is in canon. I hope he's more or less close to the Angel we saw in "Smile Time", "The Girl in Question" and other comedic episodes.

I see your Ethan/Giles subtext there, and I like it.

Githan - forever! :)

p.s. I would pay to see those sex tapes. Just sayin'.

Season 6 dailies are the closest equivalent....

Posted by: treadingthedark (treadingthedark)
Posted at: September 22nd, 2011 06:01 am (UTC)

This was fun! I really enjoyed it, was laughing most of the way through. Thanks.

Posted by: Elena (moscow_watcher)
Posted at: September 22nd, 2011 06:54 pm (UTC)
Duster_by_awmp

Thank you! I'm glad my story made you laugh!

Posted by: lusciousxander (lusciousxander)
Posted at: September 22nd, 2011 08:36 am (UTC)

OMG where do you get your ideas? Hee! You always twist something into awesomeness! I don't think I ever read a fic that took place in the reality where Cordelia was a successful actress. You had me laughing from the summary "Spike becomes a beauty expert" and still laughing to the perfect ending "The main attraction is her former classmate Harmony Kendall."

LOL!!!!!!!

Of course, one of my favorite parts are the Giles/Ethan stuff. Slash makes fics richer. :D

Posted by: Elena (moscow_watcher)
Posted at: September 22nd, 2011 07:16 pm (UTC)
Scoobies

Thank you!

This idea was slowly percolating in my mind since I read the article about Demu Moore I quote here. I wanted to to write more scenes involving Scoobies, but couldn't come up with anything interesting relevant to the "beauty parlor" twist. Well, at least Xander and Anya got their little happy reunion... :)

Slash makes fics richer. :D

Agree. I adore subtext-y slash. Teasing, playing, making little hints... :)))

Posted by: gillo (gillo)
Posted at: September 22nd, 2011 05:38 pm (UTC)
hee

Lovely idea! And Harmony would so adore doing that sort of work!

Great fun.

Posted by: Elena (moscow_watcher)
Posted at: September 22nd, 2011 07:20 pm (UTC)

Thank you! Of course, Harmony would use a chance and offer her services, arguing that she was very close to Spike the Magnificent and knows all his tricks :)

Posted by: louise39 (louise39)
Posted at: September 23rd, 2011 12:10 am (UTC)
Spuffy  under the rugs

Fun, fun, fun!!!

Love these Dawn comments:
To Spike--
"I'm done talking to you," she declared. "The only man who has a skull thicker than yours is Xander." She thought it over. "Well, Buffy may give you two a run for your money... All in all, adults are morons."

"No offence, Spike, but you're an idiot," Dawn said. "What's wrong with you guys?"


To Buffy:
"You think I'm what, twelve?" Dawn said dismissively. "I figured it out the day you went to his crypt disguised as a sex robot."

That is one smart teenager!!

Loved everyone in this leech story especially Anya and Cordelia and their grand plans; the surprising Angel; Giles and Ethan and of course Buffy [no longer in denial] and Spike [now soul finding]!!

Great job!!

Posted by: Elena (moscow_watcher)
Posted at: September 23rd, 2011 09:16 am (UTC)

Thank you! I had a lot of fun writing this story. Dawn is one of my favorite characters, and I often use her as my "mouthpiece" - especially in opinions on Buffy and Spike :)

Posted by: anviloverheaven (anviloverheaven)
Posted at: September 23rd, 2011 09:37 am (UTC)

"Pity regular men don't practice such useful kinks as sending huge sums of money to the women they love,"

Sing it sister!!!

I loved this story. Such a huge amount of fun, with brilliant little details (I love Andrew making little apperances in fics!) and I particularly love the way you poked fun at the beauty industry as a whole.

Leeches and Vampire Sperm FTW!!!

Posted by: Elena (moscow_watcher)
Posted at: September 23rd, 2011 11:34 am (UTC)
Duster_by_awmp

Thank you, honey! I'm glad you liked the story.

(I love Andrew making little apperances in fics!)

Andrew is a perfect deux-ex-machina for comedy - especially combined with overall stupidity of showbiz. :)

and I particularly love the way you poked fun at the beauty industry as a whole.

Actually, it was the easiest part. I just changed a couple of words in popular adverts :)

Leeches and Vampire Sperm FTW!!!

Hee!

Posted by: thepuddinhead (thepuddinhead)
Posted at: September 23rd, 2011 07:14 pm (UTC)
Adorable
sorta fairytale

I just now found this tale. (I have to do seasonal spuffy sometime!) This is so wonderful on so many levels. I adored the kidnapping idea (and the rival bite shop having to do with sparkling was clever and subtle).

This was funny and charming and sexy and about 57 other adjectives. Very well done!

Posted by: Elena (moscow_watcher)
Posted at: September 23rd, 2011 07:40 pm (UTC)
Re: Adorable

Thank you very much! I'm so glad you liked my story!

And - yes, you absolutely have to participate in Seasonal Spuffy! My story done, I'm about to start catching up on my reading list, and "My Elisabeth" is the first in line. I love your imagination, your characterization, your talent to keep readers intrigued.

I think Seasonal Spuffy audience would appreciate your writing.

*hugs

Posted by: freydis (audela)
Posted at: September 23rd, 2011 11:11 pm (UTC)
Smiling JM

Love this! So much fun, and so warmly humorous. Ethan definitely needs a good spanking.

Posted by: Elena (moscow_watcher)
Posted at: September 24th, 2011 08:22 am (UTC)

Thank you, hon!

Ethan definitely needs a good spanking.

In handcuffs. And black leather thong. :)))

Posted by: ((Anonymous))
Posted at: September 25th, 2011 08:14 pm (UTC)

Absolutely delightful- I read with a huge smile all the way thru- Proctor, Gamble and Spike- excellent

Thanks for sharing!!

Posted by: Elena (moscow_watcher)
Posted at: September 25th, 2011 08:23 pm (UTC)

Thank you for kind words!

Posted by: seapealsh (seapealsh)
Posted at: October 9th, 2011 03:16 am (UTC)

That was cute. Great idea.

Posted by: Elena (moscow_watcher)
Posted at: October 9th, 2011 10:14 am (UTC)

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

Posted by: caia (thisficklemob)
Posted at: February 17th, 2014 07:46 am (UTC)
hey love by dtissagirl

How did I miss this? It's brilliant! I especially liked this Anya-ism:

drove away without paying attention to my indignant cries.

Also, Andrew Wells the local ornithologist. Hee! First I was assuming he was like in canon reality, and then I realized it was an alternate universe so he could be an ornithologist, and then with the selling the tapes I realized he was the same old Andrew after all.

A brilliantly original love confession, too. Very sweet.

Posted by: caia (thisficklemob)
Posted at: February 17th, 2014 07:53 am (UTC)
b&w Run Lola Run

P.S. -- Total Win on The Daily Show for you, too. *draws hearts and sparkles around you*

59 Read Comments
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